The blame game
Blame and a diabetes diagnosis go hand in hand. When I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes it was life changing. The actual theory of how to manage my diabetes wasn’t a problem – I understood that. Many hours of reading and research brought my levels within the ranges I wanted them to be within a couple of months.
What I really struggled with for quite some time was the diabetes blame game. That constant thought that it was something I did that bought on this condition, after all I am the only one in my immediate family with this.
Why me???
That was the million dollar question for a few months. I had a big list running through my mind, tons of possible causes, all of them my fault. That is a hard thing to deal with on a mental level, it really starts to wear you down. I knew within a few months though that life is life and you have to live with the hand you are dealt.
Reasons I got diabetes 1,2,3…….
Was alcohol the cause behind my diagnosis?
The day before my symptoms really came out I had a BBQ at my house. A lot of alcohol was consumed and then my symptoms started the next day. I had small symptoms in the weeks previous but the bbq excesses really kicked it off. Even although I discussed this with the DSN and was assured it wasn’t the cause it really played on my mind. Did a binge drink cause type 1 diabetes?
Was it the change in lifestyle 3 years before diagnosis?
3 Years prior to T1D coming into my life I was a bit of a porker, a 17.5 stone porker in fact. I decided in 2012 to take up a healthy diet and exercise plan. This worked really well and I managed to lose 4 stone through sheer commitment and determination. Did this big weight loss cause type 1 diabetes?
Did stopping my exercise regime have an effect?
Once I had met my goal weight the inevitable happened and I let the exercise regime slip. Only a little bit of weight went back on luckily. Even so did a change in my activity levels cause my diabetes?
Was my poor diet to blame for it?
Throughout my late teens and early twenties my diet consisted of 4 or 5 takeaway meals a week. That’s what happens if you move out of the hotel of Mum and Dad at 17. Every once in a while I might get some vegetables in my diet, if I went to Mum’s for dinner. All of that ended 8 years before diagnosis though when I met and moved in with my Wife. Could that poor diet have caused type 1 diabetes years later?
Did I eat too many sweets as a child?
As a kid I loved my sweets, but then again all kids love sweets right! As silly as it is I was even thinking this could have been the cause of my diabetes.
And the reality is……
Nobody knows. It is as simple as that, there is no definitive reason anybody gets type 1 diabetes. Many many studies have taken place to find the reasons behind a diagnosis. Genetics plays a big part, a viral infection could be to blame, even drinking cows milk as an infant has been put in the spotlight. Notice that none of the thoughts I was having are in the usual suspects for causes of type 1 diabetes.
➡ NHS Reasons for T1 – Even the NHS state ” It’s not known exactly what triggers the immune system to do this ”
In all honesty I have made peace with the fact I have type 1 diabetes, in fact I embrace the fact now, it is a part of who I am. I know a phrase which sums up why I got diabetes perfectly
”S*;t happens”
Did you have feelings of guilt?, or did you blame yourself for your diagnosis?, please do share views in the comments section below or email me Bri@type1bri.com
Anyway for now
Take care and I didn’t swear
Type1Bri
What I always love reading is personal stories. Having any kind of condition is never nice, especially one that’ll last you your entire lifetime, but think positive. You now have a story to tell and what you might experience in the future or have done so in the past, that could help someone with their diabetes.
Hats off to you for opening up!
I was guilt ridden until just recently that I played a part in my 10 year old sons dx (sept 28th 2016). He had been “sick” that day and stayed home from school. He begged me to bring a gatorade home from the grocery store; of course I did….my baby was sick and I didn’t want him to dehydrate (vomiting in the am). Then his dad gave him another gatorade….albeit he worked on that gatorade for hours. When he later started crying in the night with “a stitch” in his side;every half hour or so. He wouldn’t get up to go to the bathroom, so I refused to bring him anything to drink. Then he became delirious….he was in and out of consciousness by the time we got him to emerge. He was in dka…BG 51mmols/L. We were flown out to a sick kids hospital.
In 20years I’d never seen my husband cry. I know it was not anyone’s doing; but I’m thexcited mom. I pray he doesn’t ever think this of me. He’s still very very angry about “life before” not being the way he envisioned anymore. He feels like he lost so much.
Thank you for sharing this ?
Thanks for sharing your story too Lanaye, hope you all come to terms with everything soon. It does get easier with time x